Sunday 26th April 2009

Hey all

So today at church, we had our usual breakfast and had powerhouse kids, but afterwards i was called over and they ask me if i'm going to state youth games, i said we'll see, but they never told me the forms were due today, so i had to make up my mind on the spot. I don't want to go. I enjoy the break from my brothers. I have assignments due that week. but they just kept pressuring me. They NEVER go out of their way to talk to me any other time, so why now? because they need numbers, i am just a number to them, with their empty promises. I don't like going on camps, because i am never included, why can't they just leave me to be the fly on the wall like they normally do, instead of facing me with a $140 decision to make in a day, i can't even afford it! I just want people to go out of their way to say hello to me, they say how our church is welcoming, happy and appreciative, well i don't feel that way at all, i feel distant, unappreciated, excluded, unnoticed, and really lonely when i go there, i'm just the person who looks after the kids, the only person who really notices me is Carol, she's great, but that's just one person out of 70-80. i normally go out of my way to help other people, but why do they never go out of their way for me?

God Bless
Amanda