22nd February 2009

Good afternoon everyone

Today I would like to talk about church today, has everyone got their newsletters?

ok i'll stop now

I'll start from the beginning.......

Last year sometime, i was kicked off the worship team at church, given the choice, kids or worship, 2 of my greatest passions, i cried a bit, then the next week, i said kids, cause even though my future is with kids, i still love worship and find it to be one of my most deepest passions, this fire that burns inside me to sing and write and do many random things, and they made me choose, i thought how could they? how could they give me the hardest decision in my life till that point, so yes, i talked to God, sat in silence with him and just thought about it, weighed up the pros and cons and came to a decision, it was a hard one, but anyway, today at church i went and saw carol, a fellow sunday school leader up on stage, singing with the worship team, i got so pissed off i wanted to scream, i got angry and upset and i cried, not loudly, just let the tears flow down my cheeks, pretending i was into the worship, when i wasn't, i was so mad i just blew a fuse, i didn't do anything drastic, but it's like a kettle was going off in my head, one of those whistling ones you know? steam shooting out my ears, eyes all puffy and face turning red i was so angry, nobody noticed thank goodness.

Later on that day i was talking to angela, she mentioned this one time they were at a youth group meeting, and i found out that someone thinks i should put church before family, kids before family, that going to a stupid meeting is more important than fulfilling my committments with my family, really shows where their priorities lye now doesn't it, so what it was just doing the dishes, so what, i was doing them so i'd get paid, yes, but so that i could be loyal to my family, and yes i know christon, you're thinking what crap, well you don't know me as well as you think you do, so be quiet, anyway, i'm getting carried away here, back on topic. I got so mad when angela told me that, so flipping mad, but i managed to calm down and relax a little and just keep talking to her

this afternoon andrew needed a baby sitter, so i offered (not that i got paid today, it's a sunday, God's day) we made cup cakes and jelly and mousse and it was yummy, i liked it, then i finally got to relax after a while, which was good, i've got an evening of tv planned and still have to finish the dishes, but that's ok, my feet hurt and well yeah, it's cool

i better go

God Bless as always
Amanda